I wasn’t left to watch the clouds for long because God's hand came upon me and I ran to Jezreel, racing Ahab in his chariot through the growing darkness and arriving at the gates of the city just before him. The power of God is incredible when it empowers you like that! King Ahab entered the city, but I didn’t – I knew Queen Jezebel was in there, and she is a terrifying and vicious woman. I hoped that the king would be able to convince her that Yahweh was the one true God, not the false gods she worshipped and had brought with her from Sidon into Israel when she married him. I tried to imagine how she would respond when Ahab told her about her 850 dead prophets, but my imagination wouldn’t stretch that far.

The next morning I was full of excitement and optimism as I watched the life-giving rain continue to fall – rain that proved God's power over not just fire, but water as well. Surely all the people must turn back to God now! The killing of the false prophets on the mountain had been only the beginning of the work that was needed to clear the land of the idols that littered it. The first and most important step would be the silencing or removal of Jezebel, the foreigner who had led her husband and the rest of the nation further into idolatry. Though I was aware that this might not be easy, I was still hopeful that, after all Ahab had seen, he would have started working on convincing her as soon as he had returned to the palace. I knew that the land would never turn from idols to the true God as long as Jezebel was allowed to keep running the kingdom the way she had been doing.

Then, as I was praying and meditating on this, a message was delivered that completely destroyed my hopes and changed the course of my life. The message was from Jezebel. As expected, she had been told by her husband about the previous day's events, but the outcome had not been at all what I had hoped for. I had known Ahab to be a weak man, but I had thought that he would have at least some authority over his wife, and that the previous day's events would have had a major impact on him. Sadly, Jezebel's message showed this to have been wishful thinking. It was short and to the point: "So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow." Her favourite prophets were dead and she was vowing to revenge herself on me.

A failure. My plan was a failure. I was a failure. Even after all those years as God’s prophet, I still hadn't managed to turn the people back to him. If an exhibition of God's power like that shown on Mount Carmel couldn't convince the king then nothing would – and without the king's support, nothing would change. Even worse – from the point of view of my survival – Jezebel was still in control, and was planning to kill me.

I ran.

I headed south, hurrying first to escape from the land of Israel, and then continuing south through Judah too.  By then I felt safer, but still just as much of a failure. My prayer was for death. "It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers."  I had completely given up.

Yet instead of killing me, God sent an angel to give me two special meals, and to tell me that I would need the strength for my journey. It was a long way – all the way to Mount Sinai, the place where my people had met with God so many years before. The journey gave me plenty of time to think about how badly I had failed.

When I arrived, I found a cave to stay in while I waited for God to speak to me. Somehow, I was sure that he would. And he did. "What are you doing here, Elijah?" he asked.

Glad for the chance to voice my complaint, I replied, "I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away."

Have you ever noticed that complaints often seem petty when they are stated out loud – however strongly they may be felt? I wanted to explain how I really felt, the mission I had had and how much I felt like a failure, but it just wouldn't come out. What did come out provided no real explanation of my earlier request that God take away my life. But God made no direct response to my words anyway. Instead, he told me to come out of the cave onto the mountain and stand before him. A scary thought, but I obeyed.

Almost without warning, a strong wind struck the mountain – the sort of grand phenomenon I've always seen God's hand in. But this time I knew that God was not in the wind, although it was so strong that it split the rocks of the mountain near me.

A fierce earthquake followed, and again, I knew that God was not in the earthquake. Yet I knew that he was in control of it, which prevented me from sinking to the ground in utter terror.

Then a fire came. But God was not in that either. I had seen God's hand in the fire on Mount Carmel, but now God was not in the fire.

Finally, after all the big things God had showed me, came something that I almost missed – a still, small voice. But there was no doubt it was God's voice, however small. It asked, again, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

Somewhat confused by these events that had turned my thinking on its head, I could only repeat my earlier response: "I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away."

Probably because he knew that this was not really what I meant, God made no attempt to answer me. Instead, he gave me instructions that would free me from the job for which I now felt so wholly inadequate: "Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him."

I say that he made no attempt to answer me, but his last words did at least comfort me with the knowledge that, although others had not stood up publicly for God in the contest on Mount Carmel, apparently they did worship him in private. But that was a piece of information to mull over later. At the time, I focussed on the relief of knowing that the intolerable load of responsibility that I felt as a prophet of God was to be taken away and placed on the shoulders of another who would be better able to carry it.

And that was the end of the brief interlude on Mount Sinai. I had to go back to Israel as a prophet, but only to prepare my replacement. I was given no promise of protection from Jezebel's fury, but it no longer mattered. God had put things in perspective for me. He had reminded me of his power over everything through his control of the wind, fire and earthquake. God has given us all free will, and the fact that most choose to disobey is neither his failure nor mine. But it was the still, small voice that epitomised his main message to me. God is in control of the big things, and he uses them to work his will, but it is in the small things, and the small people, that his most magnificent work occurs. I hadn't even known about those seven thousand faithful men – but God had. And though he has chosen a nation to be his servant and witness, he works daily with any individuals who will listen to him.

Somehow, the knowledge that God does work in the small things, and cares for individuals, has made all the difference to me. I had gone to Mount Sinai afraid, lost and on the point of giving up. But the realisation that God cared brought everything into perspective. I was ready once more to work for God in whatever way he might direct me. As the God of both big things and small things, he can see the big picture clearly, while working with the little people in gentle love.