I have been a follower of Jesus for more than two years now, ever since he was baptised by John the Baptist.  I had been baptised by John previously and had decided that I wanted to be his disciple, but then Jesus arrived.  I saw John baptise him and watched as the Holy Spirit landed on him in a form that looked like a dove.  John told me that this man was the “lamb of God”, and even the son of God.  That made me want to follow him, but by then he had disappeared.

Nobody seemed to know where he was or even who he was, which meant that I couldn’t find him.

So for six more weeks I stayed with John, listening to his teaching and admiring his godliness.  As a priest, he had a very good background in the law of Moses, yet his application of it was quite different from those of the so-called experts in the law.  It seemed to me that if everyone followed his instructions for life, there wouldn’t be any of the poverty that I saw around.  Yes, the nation is full of poor people – I’m one myself – but there is an important difference between being poor and living in poverty.

I have some spare clothes – or at least, I used to have.  But real poverty – the grinding, wasting, demoralising, hunger-filled and diseased  poverty that dresses men in threadbare clothes, takes away their hope and drives them almost inevitably to theft – this is not common in Judea.  John told us how to fix it, and the common people heard him and acted.  All it took was a willingness to trust that God would continue to look after us, and then to share anything we didn’t immediately need.  Of course, one rich person could have given more help than a hundred poor people and never even noticed the cost, but mostly it was only the poor who were willing to listen to John.

That sounds like I’m complaining or blaming the rich, but I’m not.  We, the poor, benefitted from taking such action.  We chose to trust God for ourselves, and thus became free to help our fellow man.  The help was genuinely needed, and it was amazing how much the whole process of helping built or strengthened bonds of friendship.  Those who were suffering stopped being “them” and become part of “us”.

So the rich kept their money, their worries and their problems.  They had to look after it all themselves because they couldn’t – or wouldn’t – hand either their money or their worries over to God.  Paradoxically, the poor won and the rich lost – not that they always saw it that way.

Then the man returned.  Apparently he had been out in the wilderness by himself for 40 days.  That made me wonder a bit when I thought of the stories I had heard about John being out in the wilderness too.  They are both amazing men who care astonishingly greatly for people, yet both have needed to go away from people at times to get closer to God.  It’s a lesson in priorities that I am still trying to learn.

Anyway, after he returned, I wanted to get to know him.  John was again announcing to anyone who showed an interest, that this man was the lamb of God.  I followed him and found out that his name was Jesus.

As I said, John was an amazing man, but it didn’t take long to find out that this Jesus was even more amazing.  John constantly downplayed his own importance and told us to get ready for the one who would follow him.  When Jesus came for baptism, John said that this was the man he had been talking about and encouraged us to follow him.

When I met Jesus and got to know him, what stood out to me was his humility.  It was just the same as John: he didn’t minimise the importance of his work, just of himself as the initiator of the work.

It took me a while to notice it, because I don’t tend to pay much attention to what names mean, but the name “Jesus” means “God saves”, and it fitted: from the time I met him, Jesus was always trying to emphasise that everything he did was at God’s instruction.

Getting to know Jesus was both easy and hard.  When I first had the opportunity to talk to him, I noticed that he listened carefully to every word that I spoke.  Now I’m not the sort of person that everyone listens to – no great speaker or popular leader – yet Jesus made me feel that I was important to him.

I just greeted him and asked him where he was staying.  Based on John’s recommendation, I wanted to go and listen to Jesus.  He must have something useful to say.

He answered my question and allowed me to follow him and listen to what he said.  I quickly learned that he paid the same attention to everyone who spoke to him.  He was good at listening to people.

But it took a very short time to learn that he was also good at speaking.  I have never heard anyone who could speak as well as he does.  I can never hear enough of what he says, yet he does not simply tell me what I think I want to hear.  Instead, almost as soon as he says something, I realise that I do want – and need – to hear what he has said.

And I am not the only one who feels like that.  First a few, then scores, then hundreds followed him and listened to everything he said.

However, following Jesus was not easy.  First there was the punishing physical schedule – up early, then all day spent with growing numbers of people who were looking for help and advice, as well as arguing with determined nay-sayers from time to time, and then late nights spent in prayer or difficult discussions.  Second, there was the spiritually demanding nature of interaction with him.  He knew what was in you, and that was very draining until you learned to relax and make the most of it – but most of his followers never did learn this.   Third, there were the challenging things he said, and I’ll explain what I mean in a moment.

After a while he chose twelve of us and treated us as his special friends, explaining his teachings to us in more detail and sending us out to spread his teachings to others.  It was a wonderful opportunity and taught me even more about relying on God to provide everything that we need.  We went out without money or extra clothes or anything like that, and it worked.  Any time we needed something, we had it.  Everything.  Without fail.  We also had the right answers to give – God provided those too.

Jesus’ audiences kept growing, and they followed him to out-of-the-way places to hear him and kept listening for hours.  It became harder and harder for him to move anywhere, so he started going to places that were further and further away from people’s homes.  If people wanted to listen to Jesus, they had to make a real commitment.  At one stage, Jesus went out to a desolate place and, would you believe it, five thousand men followed him out there to listen to him, plus women and children!

At the end of that day, Jesus felt sorry for them and did his most popular miracle of all.  Jesus asked us what food we had available.  All we could find were five loaves and two fish, yet with those minute morsels, Jesus fed the whole crowd, and there was enough left over to fill twelve baskets with scraps.  Jesus was very particular that he didn’t want any of the food wasted.  Then he sent the crowds away and that was that – or should have been.  But it wasn’t.  The next day, the crowds were busily asking about the miracle and looking for a repeat performance.

That day, Jesus said some of the hardest things he’s ever said.  Looking back, it’s clear that he was trying to separate the real followers from the ones who merely worshipped their stomachs.  He talked about eating his flesh and calling it bread.  Then he spoke of drinking his blood, something that is utterly beyond the pale.  Even we, the twelve who were closest to him, found this very confronting.

Ever since the days of Noah, God has forbidden the eating or drinking of blood.  Yet here, the son of God was telling us we had to drink his blood.  Many people who had followed him for months could not accept what he said and left.

We couldn’t understand it either, but we couldn’t leave him.  If we left Jesus, where else could we go?  There was no other teacher or teaching that was worthwhile, so it was best to stay around, hang on and try to understand what he meant.  That day was one of the most difficult days I’ve ever known, and it was only our trust in Jesus that kept us all with him.  We had confidence that he had the words of God; that he was the word of God made flesh.

And now? I still don’t understand what he meant, but I’m still willing to trust him.  He often speaks in parables and says things that I can’t understand until he explains them to us – and even then, I don’t always understand.  Recently he’s started talking about his death, and I don’t understand that either.

Following Jesus isn’t easy, physically or mentally.  He certainly doesn’t ever take it easy, and he often doesn’t make it easy for us to understand, but if we trust him he does help us.  I understand so much more about God now than I ever did before, and I could never leave Jesus, whatever happens.

So I’m glad we didn’t leave him, but I still don’t understand what he says about his death. And as for drinking his blood…